Kay, so I said I wasn't going to wallow in self pity, but that is exactly what I've been doing. I know I can't take one silly setback to heart, but it's been hard to just let it slide off my back. I think it's worse because those awful voices of doubt just start into overtime, saying all kinds of helpful things! It's hard to silence them, even when logic is on your side.
To add to it all, last night Brooklyn woke up a little after midnight. I swear she's hit a growth spurt because she was just ravenous when she usually sleeps through the night without a peep! So I let myself sleep in this morning, adding fuel to the fire. I just felt BUMMED! I mean, whining, pouting, stamp my feet bummed.
I was sitting here surfing from Blog to Blog, checking in on my friends. I just so happened upon a post where my good friend Stacy talked about how I inspired her to eat better one day. I felt a little twinge of - hmmm.... remorse for being a complete baby about one little setback, chagrin at how easy it is for me to lose faith and hope despite everything I have been blessed with, and renewed desire to live up to my potential.
It's easy to fall prey to our doubts. It seems like no matter how many times the Lord showers us with blessings, love and support, we still don't believe Him. We still don't accept our true divine worth and abilities. When things don't go quite right, I feel like the truth is coming out: I really can't do this! That mantra that has been in my head for years flames to life at the slightest invitation, and I am back at a mental square one. Why do I think THIS is the truth? The reality is that I CAN do it and with the help of my Father in Heaven, my weak things will be made strong.
Thank you all for your positive support, for your love and prayers for me, and for letting me inspire you in my good moments and not holding my bad ones against me. Before the day is through I will have my workout in, and maybe even a little yoga. More importantly, I will have reminded myself, once again, that I AM WORTH IT!
3 comments:
Love the new look, and YES, you are worth it, and more! It is tough, when the scale doesn't show how we feel. I know exactly how that cycle goes...you want to give up already. Good for you for sticking to it, keep it up, despite the scale. Blogging is so great in that it allows us to work out our feelings. You are still very inspiring to be so open about your quest to lose weight...and you are definitely not alone, there are so many of us who battle with making good choices and trying to exercise and the list goes on. So thanks...you are doing great!
Christene,
You are doing great! Keeping your spirits up is the hards part. I think of you everytime I run. In my mind I think, this is for Christene, if you can be positive I can too. I will say it has been really hard, I have had a cold 2 out of 3 weeks. And breathing has been a problem. But reading your blog always helps. There will always be days of doubt but we can always be better tomorrow, right. Keep going you are doing great!!!
Kick those voices out of your head! your are doing great. You looked so good in your new dress sunday! it was so cute! Keep up the good work!
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